Dating vs. Anti-dating

I was surprised to hear some of the claims in Chapter 5, such as that dating was essentially practice for divorce, but at the same time, I understood where these anti-daters were coming from. Although I do not side with the anti-daters or believe that dating is an experience that should be removed from our lives, I agree with claims in both chapter five of "Love, Reason, and God's Story" and the Conflict Over Hook-Up Culture that our way of "dating" and "hooking up" today is wrong. Although I believe it is necessary for people to date in order to grow as a person and find what they are looking for in a successful relationship, many people in the "dating" world today aren't even looking for someone to go on dates with, but instead just to hook up with, then to never speak with again. These behaviors are unnecessary and do more harm to finding successful relationships than help. However, I do know that it is popular in today's culture for people even in high school to hook up with someone they may not even know or speak to ever again. I side with those who justify dating because I believe that through dating, we learn more about ourselves and who we want to be in a relationship. We learn how we want to be treated by a partner and how we do not want to be treated by a partner. We gain confidence and knowledge that will prepare us for successful, happy marriages. Even though I agree with the anti-daters that relationships often lead to heartbreak and conflicts, I believe that we must experiences these hardships in order to find happy relationships. Even in young high school relationships, we are looking for qualities in a boyfriend/girlfriend that we will one day want in our husbands/wives. The "hook-up" culture prevalent in today's colleges and universities may not be helpful in forming healthy relationships and marriages one day, but I believe that dating--in the literal sense of actually going on dates, having intelligent conversations, and spending quality time with one another--is important.