Changing Face of Marriage

My experience of the "domestic Church" has been wonderful. My mom and dad came from two different religious backgrounds--my mom was raised Episcopalian and my dad was raised Roman Catholic--but they decided together to raise us with Catholic beliefs, yet still encouraging us to explore other versions of Christianity if we wanted to. I was always taught that through the domestic Church, religion is introduced first by your parents. This was definitely true in my household. My parents took my sisters and I to Church with them from the time we were babies. They told us about God and their beliefs when we were very young. When it came time to choose a school to enroll us in, they placed Megan and I in Catholic school so that we could learn more about the Catholic faith while learning and interacting with other Catholics. My parents have also showed us the importance of agreement, patience, and love in a marriage that I will one day hopefully mimic in my own marriage. There are definitely both pros and cons to the changing structure and composition of family and marriage. I believe that now more than ever, family and marriage have more unity. No one person is "in charge" of the marriage the way that a husband used to be in charge. Now, in most cases, both husband and wife truly express total union in marriage by equal say in family decisions, equal support financially, and equal support around the house and often in raising the children. I think it is great that women are now working as well as the men and that gender roles in marriages are slowly being erased. There are cons to the changes in marriage, though. A lot of people are not taking the sacrament of marriage as seriously. Divorce rates have risen and, as the one video stated, the percentage of married couples has decreased. These facts are impacting family development because many children are no longer being raised in a "domestic Church" where God is present in their parents' unity and love. I am not surprised by the fact that those who receive college degrees are less likely to divorce. I believe that a lot of factors influence this, from financial situations to family upbringings to personal values and motivations, but that does not mean that couples without a college degree cannot be in a loving, faithful marriage. This fact does give me hope that my own marriage will one day be strong since I plan on receiving a college degree and marrying someone who does the same. I do hope to one day establish a domestic church in my own home just as m parents did for me. I want my children to be able to learn about their faith, love for one another and for God, and important family values through this domestic church just as I did growing up.

Papal Conclave

I loved visiting the Villa and hearing all about the nuns opinions on the Church and who they wanted for the next pope. I was very surprised to hear that they were not in favor of many traditional Church ideas and wanted to see change, especially in making women priests. 1. I think it’s important that the pope addresses the topics that are commonly debated over in the United States, such as marriage rights for gays. The Bible teaches us that all men were created equal, yet we still don’t see that equality in the Church’s views and I believe that its important that homosexual couples looking to receive the sacrament of matrimony should be allowed because they are just as worthy as any heterosexual couple. Another issue over equality in the Church is women’s role in the Church community. Many of us are now wondering, especially with modern views of empowering women and the decreasing number of men becoming priests, if women should be allowed to be more than just lay people and nuns. Women can be just as religious and involved in the Church community as men so I think that women should be allowed to be priests, or at least deacons. I also think that priests should be allowed to be married, especially since the number of priests in America is dwindling. I know that not all these issues are “hot-button topics” around the rest of the world, but here in the United States, we would like to see them addressed. 2. Like I said above, I believe that women and married men should be considered for priesthood. The number of men becoming priests in the United States is dwindling and I believe that women and married men would be just as influential and capable of leading a Church community as any unmarried man would. I also think that the pope should consider influences Church communities around the world to reach out to younger generations. Our generation feels out of place sometimes in the Church because much of the Church’s views and traditions are old-fashioned and many homilies don’t seem to relate to us. When there are fun, interesting youth groups and discussions, younger people might become more religious and inspired. After all, we will be the next generation of “older people” leading the Church. I also think that the pope will face many challenges regarding the sex scandals. I believe he should address these scandals with honesty, no matter how tough the subject may be. 3. How each woman feels about their roles in the Church definitely depends on which woman you’re talking to. Many women are fine with the fact that all leadership roles go to males and that as a woman, we can either be simply members, lay people, or nuns, but not priests, bishops, etc. Many women, however, want more power and role in the Church. After all, aren’t we all equal in God’s eyes? I tend to side toward this idea because I believe that women should have more of a say and higher positions in the Church community in order to be treated equally. 4. I think I would change the way that—at least in my Church community—so much of Mass and other Church activities are traditional and geared towards the older generations. I think that the Church should encourage more youth groups and fun activities for younger members in order for our younger generation to be more interested in faith. I think even homilies should start to be geared toward all ages because the sad truth is that many people—young and old, but especially young—tune out the priest’s lecture because they find it “boring” and “the same as always.” 5. I don’t think that Church’s hierarchy is too overpowering. There is definitely democracy, but I think that more change and freedom should still be given. For example, women and unmarried men should be allowed to enter the priesthood. The Holy Spirit will guide these priests to fulfill their duties, no matter their gender or relationships.

Dating vs. Anti-dating

I was surprised to hear some of the claims in Chapter 5, such as that dating was essentially practice for divorce, but at the same time, I understood where these anti-daters were coming from. Although I do not side with the anti-daters or believe that dating is an experience that should be removed from our lives, I agree with claims in both chapter five of "Love, Reason, and God's Story" and the Conflict Over Hook-Up Culture that our way of "dating" and "hooking up" today is wrong. Although I believe it is necessary for people to date in order to grow as a person and find what they are looking for in a successful relationship, many people in the "dating" world today aren't even looking for someone to go on dates with, but instead just to hook up with, then to never speak with again. These behaviors are unnecessary and do more harm to finding successful relationships than help. However, I do know that it is popular in today's culture for people even in high school to hook up with someone they may not even know or speak to ever again. I side with those who justify dating because I believe that through dating, we learn more about ourselves and who we want to be in a relationship. We learn how we want to be treated by a partner and how we do not want to be treated by a partner. We gain confidence and knowledge that will prepare us for successful, happy marriages. Even though I agree with the anti-daters that relationships often lead to heartbreak and conflicts, I believe that we must experiences these hardships in order to find happy relationships. Even in young high school relationships, we are looking for qualities in a boyfriend/girlfriend that we will one day want in our husbands/wives. The "hook-up" culture prevalent in today's colleges and universities may not be helpful in forming healthy relationships and marriages one day, but I believe that dating--in the literal sense of actually going on dates, having intelligent conversations, and spending quality time with one another--is important.

Gender Expectations in Relationships

I believe that both this article and the comment have valid points. Both men and women often have expectations about proposal and marriage. I am a fan of the traditional way of taking your husband’s last name, a fantasy proposal with a ring, and a well-planned out wedding; however, I don’t believe that it should have to be this way. I believe that if a woman wants to propose, she should be allowed to without being judged for it. I believe that women should be allowed to keep their last names, especially if they value their last names highly. I believe that men should not feel as if they do not have any say in how the wedding should be planned or feel that they must provide the entire family income. In this modern world, I believe that it is good that some people are straying from traditional ways, even if I am a fan of tradition. My parents and I have discussed similar topics and I know that they are a fan of the traditional gender roles, such as the man proposing to the woman and the woman taking the husband’s last name, which is how my parents went about it. My parents did, however, speak about marriage before my father proposed. Although some people love surprises, I believe that a couple should definitely talk about marriage before sealing the deal. It is important that both partners feel comfortable with the idea of getting married and starting a life together. In general, while I favor traditional ways when it comes to gender roles, I believe that a person’s gender should not confine them to specific roles if they do not wish to fill out those roles.

America the Beautiful

Although I didn’t see the entire film, what I did see of “America the Beautiful” was still very eye-opening to me. I believe that Gerren Taylor’s story is just one of many that represent the harsh feedback that many models and celebrities receive. I remember being about six years old and always looking up to my babysitter, Kim. I thought she was so pretty and she was always so fun and nice to my sisters and me. One day, I overheard her telling my mom that a modeling agency had asked her to model for their company. Kim had agreed to try it, but when she had gone for her first appointment, they had told her she would need to cut her hair and go down two pant sizes in order to model for them. I remember being astonished that anyone would ever say such a thing to a young woman I had always thought was beautiful. While Kim had stood her ground and said no, I know that many girls in today’s society would have taken this advice more personally, thinking that they were overweight and not pretty enough, just as Gerren Taylor may have thought. Gerren Taylor’s story shows how much the modeling world can truly damage girls self-esteem. As a young woman in contemporary American society, I see the impact of society’s views on beauty on my friends and classmates. I’ve witnessed multiple friends of mine point to girls in magazines—who I thought were way too stick-thin—and say things like, “She’s so pretty. I wish I had her body.” When we are constantly seeing stick-thin, photo-enhanced, professionally done-up pictures of celebrities and models portray the image of “beautiful,” it is hard for any of us girls to see true beauty in ourselves. And once girls start to think they are not pretty enough, their confidence and outlook on life immediately changes. I think all girls my age should visit the America the Beautiful website at "http://americathebeautifuldoc.com/original/". I think that there should be more inspiring, informative movies like “America the Beautiful” in order to instill confidence and better self-esteem in young woman living in today’s American society so that all girls know that they are beautiful just they way they are.

My favorite quote from Parker's article, http://www.explorefaith.org/palmer/chp2_9.html is "Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic self-hood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be." In today's society, we are often so focused on what we "should" be doing and what we "should" be when we grow up, often based on what others think we should be, instead of appreciating ourselves and our life as we are. In my mission statement, I wrote that a big part of my mission in life is to be content with who I am. I believe that asking myself "Who am I?" instead "Who should I be?" just as Parker suggested will help me to achieve happiness throughout my life. I believe that vocation should not be a career path or a way of life that we are forced into. For example, even if we are born into a family of Catholics, we should not consider ourselves truly "Catholic" and faithful until we truly believe in Catholicism and feel strong in our faith. A vocation should be something we choose because we know it is best for our happiness, faith, and contentment. A vocation should be a calling we feel drawn to, not a career or way of life we choose simply because someone else wants us to or we think we will impress others through it. Although a vocation as a priest is impressive to many, not all people are meant to be priests. Likewise, although a career as a doctor is impressive, not all people should strive to be doctors because they would not be happy in that career. I believe that Parker is correct in saying that our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic self-hood because we cannot be truly successful or happy in life unless we are content with ourselves, our beliefs, and our vocation. I believe that success is not always achieved through a demanding career, a religion we are born into, or the money that we inherit. Instead, success is achieved by being content with who we are, feeling strong about our faith, and appreciating the life that God has given to us. I agree with Parker because I believe that if we appreciate our lives and ourselves as we are instead of always searching for something more, we will finally feel content with our life and our vocation.

My Mission Statement

My mission in life is to always be happy and content, no matter what obstacles I have to face. I want to one day have a family of my own and will strive to obtain a good job in order to support my children. I believe that I will always remain close to my family and good friends. Maintaining good relationships with loved ones is something that I believe is necessary in order to have a happy, successful life. I also hope to be able to help others, whether it is through a future career, Church activities, or community service. Making a difference in others' lives will give me purpose in life and help me to live contently. I also will strive to appreciate everything, even the simplest of things, in my life, even during hard times. My mission is to live a happy, grateful life while maintaining close relationships with my family and friends, helping others, growing in my faith, and appreciating all that God have given to me.